I ran across this from the National Consumer Voice for Long-Term Care and thought it should be shared.

National Consumer Voice for Quality Long-Term Care shared Max Philisaire‘s photo.

June 28 at 8:44pm ·

This has been circulating on Facebook for some time and has the feel of fiction, yet the sentiment it expresses of “see me for the whole and entire person I am” resonates across all long-term care. What do you think?

When an old man died in the geriatric ward of a nursing home in an Australian country town, it was believed that he had nothing left of any value.

Later, when the nurses were going through his meager possessions, They found this poem. Its quality and content so impressed the staff that copies were made and distributed to every nurse in the hospital.

One nurse took her copy to Melbourne. The old man’s sole bequest to posterity has since appeared in the Christmas editions of magazines around the country and appearing in mags for Mental Health. A slide presentation has also been made based on his simple, but eloquent, poem.

And this old man, with nothing left to give to the world, is now the author of this ‘anonymous’ poem winging across the Internet.


Cranky Old Man

What do you see nurses? . . .. . .What do you see?
What are you thinking .. . when you’re looking at me?
A cranky old man, . . . . . .not very wise,
Uncertain of habit .. . . . . . . .. with faraway eyes?
Who dribbles his food .. . … . . and makes no reply.
When you say in a loud voice . .’I do wish you’d try!’
Who seems not to notice . . .the things that you do.
And forever is losing . . . . . .. . . A sock or shoe?
Who, resisting or not . . . … lets you do as you will,
With bathing and feeding . . . .The long day to fill?
Is that what you’re thinking?. .Is that what you see?
Then open your eyes, nurse .you’re not looking at me.
I’ll tell you who I am . . . . .. As I sit here so still,
As I do at your bidding, .. . . . as I eat at your will.
I’m a small child of Ten . .with a father and mother,
Brothers and sisters .. . . .. . who love one another
A young boy of Sixteen . . . .. with wings on his feet
Dreaming that soon now . . .. . . a lover he’ll meet.
A groom soon at Twenty . . . heart gives a leap.
Remembering, the vows .. .. .that I promised to keep.
At Twenty-Five, now . . . . .I have young of my own.
Who need me to guide . . . And a secure happy home.
A man of Thirty . .. . . . . My young now grown fast,
Bound to each other . . .. With ties that should last.
At Forty, my young sons .. .have grown and are gone,
But my woman is beside me . . to see I don’t mourn.
At Fifty, once more, .. …Babies play ’round my knee,
Again, we know children . . . . My loved one and me.
Dark days are upon me . . . . My wife is now dead.
I look at the future … . . . . I shudder with dread.
For my young are all rearing .. . . young of their own.
And I think of the years . . . And the love that I’ve known.
I’m now an old man . . . . . . .. and nature is cruel.
It’s jest to make old age . . . . . . . look like a fool.
The body, it crumbles .. .. . grace and vigour, depart.
There is now a stone . . . where I once had a heart.
But inside this old carcass . A young man still dwells,
And now and again . . . . . my battered heart swells
I remember the joys . . . . .. . I remember the pain.
And I’m loving and living . . . . . . . life over again.
I think of the years, all too few . . .. gone too fast.
And accept the stark fact . . . that nothing can last.
So open your eyes, people .. . . . .. . . open and see.
Not a cranky old man .
Look closer . . . . see .. .. . .. …. . ME!!

Remember this poem when you next meet an older person who you might brush aside without looking at the young soul within. We will all, one day, be there, too!”


Thank you…please comment and share.





Bullying puts an emotional drain, not just on the target of such cruelty, but on those that witness such behavior and feel the pain in its presence. The casual onlooker is ill-equipped to intervene. The observer feels uncomfortable yet feels powerless to act. They see the bullying and remain silent. After all, it’s not their responsibility.

I am a witness to bullying every day, and it disheartens me. As I inevitably lose more and more of my understanding, will I become a victim of bullying—when my cognition weakens will I fall prey to taunts and ridicule from those residents around me? It’s a harsh reality on which to ponder as one grows older. I would be naive to think that the nursing home would shield me from becoming a victim. The nursing home staff is either not aware of the subtleties of bullying, or they just choose to ignore them.

Those people closest to the victim of bullying are not the best equipped to recognize and intervene…the trained staff of the nursing home. Other residents are complicit in the act of hurtful behavior toward the victim—joining in on the muffled snickers, laughter, and ridicule—not even aware of their actions.

Even those residents with the severest of disabilities will exhibit bullying on the weakest in the crowd to deflect attention away from themselves. To them, it is a show of strength and membership with the dominant group—a show of solidarity and tacit approval from the powerful. They will join in with their peers, mocking and making disparaging remarks. The most likely targets of such mockery are those that display delusional behavior.

The response from me is only a stern look of disapproval at such conduct.

The responsibility for eliminating bullying must fall to the nursing home administration. Emphasis must be placed on training the nursing assistants in identifying the subtleties of bullying. New hire orientation must include training done by in-house leadership to emphasize the importance. The training responsibility cannot be delegated! Those in leadership positions—department heads—must show their concern, and demonstrate that they are serious about bullying. The administration must be required to share the tools available to identify bullying and be proactive in quelling its pervasiveness. All staff members have to be able to recognize and feel comfortable reporting bullying to authorities without fear of reprisal.

Family members must play and active role. They must ask questions regarding the awareness levels of the administration regarding bullying. What kind of training, what frequency and what follow-up is in place? Inquiries must be made at the time of admission as to staff development programs and where the emphasis is being placed. Nursing homes must be able to document a continuing, comprehensive education and awareness regimen for those employees that come in direct contact with the loved one. Is the training spaced throughout the year or concentrated towards the end of the year to fulfill an administrative requirement? Is the nursing home proactive or reactive in their training program that identifies bullying? What role, if any, does the social worker play in the interaction between residents?  What role does the activities department play? The staff directly involved in activities should be trained specifically in identifying bullying behavior. Observe the activities. Does one resident continually dominate and control the conversation over other residents?  Are weaker residents being ignored or appear to be intimidated during activities or are they encouraged to participate?

All of the questions above will demonstrate whether the nursing home administration is aware of bullying and committed to its control and eventual elimination.